So this photo popped up in my Facebook memories today.
8 years ago ...my 40th birthday.
The first thing I see is my beautiful baby girl just 8 months old looking all chubby and healthy. She was absolutely perfect and still is.
The second thing I see is this scrawny, skinny woman who only 8 months ago had her 3rd child. Looking thin and gaunt with lots of hard lines in her face and a body of skin and bones.
I can remember feeling quite proud of the fact that I was able to “bounce back” and get my body back to where it was pre baby in 8 short months.
Now this gets me thinking this was not an easy task and you may think it was with my background in the industry. It wasn’t and it wasn’t healthy either. I had to do a lot of intense excessive amounts of exercise to get to this.
Here I was at almost 40 with two boys under the age of 7 and now a baby girl to look after. I Didn’t like my body after childbirth. It wasn’t what I was used to seeing in the mirror. So I jumped straight back into teaching lots of high intensity fitness classes at 10 weeks post partum.
💡 This was what I used as my tool to drop the weight I had gained in pregnancy.
💡 This is what I was conditioned to believe was the best way to get back in shape and be a healthy mum.
This type of training is gruelling, grinding work on your body when you haven’t had a baby never mind being 10 weeks post partum. Plus I was breastfeeding my 3rd baby and boy she was hungry ( can’t you tell? Look at those cheeks 😂)
So in my screwed up head I needed to get back to where I was pre 3 rd baby. Teaching 15 classes per week, Breast feeding, eating very little as I thought what I was eating was enough and hey I was losing weight and getting skinny right so this was all good 🤯🤔
But here lies the other side of the story.
On the outside everything looks perfect.
I’m fit, I’m skinny, I’m being super mum with 3 kids, I’m breastfeeding, I’m a super duper fitness trainer role model to other mums but on the inside I was crushed and it started to show in my face and on my body.
My day would be ....smashing myself for 2 hours at the gym (this was my job also) , then feeding a baby I would spend the afternoon crashed on the couch feeling totally drained, lethargic and having little to no appetite.
Most days I couldn’t kneel down on the floor to play with my baby my knees were so sore and my legs so tight. I had the joints of an 90 year old.
Ask me to walk up a flight of stairs I’d say I’m taking the lift I couldn’t even walk up a flight of stairs due to cartilage wear in my knees.
Fast forward to now at 48 I’m not so fit or skinny but I’m healthier overall, I’ve built some muscle and now I’m strong too.
Infact I don’t even want to be skinny or fit.
8 years later I’m happy to say I think I look younger now at 48 than I did at 40. I’m actually heavier at 48 than at 40 but who cares. I am no longer ruled by the weight I see on the scales.
I still have lines on my face but they are lines of living and wisdom.
The moral of this story ?
Exercise for better performance, to preserve and strengthen your body not to punish it and break it down
Eat for better performance and to build and strengthen your body not to punish it and break it down.
I learned my lesson the hard, long way.
Don't make the same mistakes I made and waste years trying.
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